maybe read... hustler or something

The now classic beginning for this blog is that I had a weird thought while watching Groundhog Day recently. This one was inspired by something my daughter said, and it has to do with bodily functions.

Imagine Phil Connors is the kind of person who has his... morning constitutional (and my son finds that phrase amusing because he's never heard it before) at the same time every morning, say, 10 minutes after waking. So, every February 2nd morning, Phil is not only having to use the toilet but he's... how to put this delicately? He's having the same exact bowel movement every morning. See, this thought occurs to me and rather than think at best that's mildly interesting and move on, I wonder if, like other things in his repetitive life, this one gets better. Or rather, he gets batter at it. Like after innumerable days of pooping the same poop, he just has to get near the toilet and out it goes. And, if so, what will he do on February 3rd when he has to basically re-potty train himself.

I've mentioned before that Phil can't get fat, that he doesn't even need to eat. But, he presumably ate and drank last night (i.e. February 1st) so he's got know choice in the morning when it comes to bodily functions. The thing is, at a certain point Phil not even needing to do such a basic things as eating makes him almost no longer human. But--and this is where this particular blog entry gets very serious--still having to poop every morning maybe grounds him in his humanity. Laura Newcomer at Greatist (citing Motyl, Hart, Cooper, Heflick, Goldenberg and Pyszczynaki, 2012) suggests that "natural bodily functions remind us of our 'creatureliness,' and therefore our mortality." She says this as explanation for us not wanting to talk about such things. Even knowing I was going to write about this topic, I was coy about it above, referring to Phil's "morning constitutional." But, Newcomer's argument also implies its opposite; our humanity is defined not by the baser bodily functions but by something more profound and likely internal. I don't use "humanity" as some separating term to mean we are not also animals. And, really, I think this "creatureliness" is a necessary element of what makes us human. And, retaining his humanity is vital, or Phil would do far worse things than crash a car or steal a little money or trick a girl into bed. Within the time loop, one might argue, poop has saved the lives of the people of Punxsutawney.

And, since Groundhog Day inspires one to consider the things we would really like to if we were about to die or if there was no tomorrow, I should share this article: 14 Places You Have To Poop At Before You Die.

Today's reason to repeat a day forever: to get my shit together, obviously.