the groundhog day project

Incompetent police force. Jeep commercial disguised as car chase, and I'll get to the racism and sexism later. But, the first moment of genius comes early--Mama Fratelli, driving the getaway vehicle for her son's jailbreak, and she's eating, casually. And that car chase allows for some simple introductions to all of our main characters, and offers details on who they are. Andy (Kerri Green) is a cheerleader... That's all. Cheer captain, I guess. Rosalita (Lupe Ontiveros) is (appropriately, I suppose) jumpy, and maybe not that bright. Police cars have sirens so, for example, you don't get caught in the middle of the crosswalk as they come speeding through. (This characterization might actually matter regarding one of the complaints later. [Or tomorrow.]) Mouth (Corey Feldman) tries to be helpful with his father. And it is not their house, mind you--the Mad Jack's Plumbing truck is parked askew at the end of the driveway with traffic cones in front of it. But, ...

I will be up front about this. I am watching Suburban Sasquatch again rather than get back to High Road to China . It's just so fun. Also, I saw Every Day today's--long time readers of this blog might recognize the name. I wrote about David Levithan's book back when it was still Groundhog Day every day. In particular, I quoted this bit: What is it about the moment you fall in love? How can such a small measure of time contains such enormity? I suddenly realize why people believe in deja by, why people they've lived past lives, because there is no way the years I've spent on this earth could possibly encapsulate what I'm feeling. The moment you fall in love feels like it has centuries behind it, generations--all of them rearranging themselves so that this precise, remarkable intersection could happen. In your heart, in your bones, no matter how silly you know it is, you feel that everything has been leading to this, all the secrets arrows were points here, ...

And then I skipped the scheduled film for a day because 1) I can and b) it will line up better with March 2nd being a Groundhog Day day. Instead of watching High Road to China again and try to justify its stakes, I am watching a horrible film that I have never seen in its entirety before. (I have seen parts of it online, particularly because Red Letter Media did an entire "Best of the Worst" episode about it. The film is Suburban Sasquatch . It starts with bad acting and lazy filming, and then the Sasquatch arrives and hilarity ensues. But, not on purpose. The hilarity is these two getting killed. Then insert a badly animated CGI hawk and a (supposedly) Native American woman, Talla (Sue Lynn Sanchez) who is going to do battle. The details are vague. Insert cops, Steve (Juan Fernandez) and John (Dave Bonavita, who also plays the Sasquatch). And a reporter, Rick (Bill Ushler). The cops mention nearby property development and we should know right away there is an environ...

It's not just the desk lamp that foreshadows what's to come, of course. When Joe cleans out his desk, he has a copy of Robinson Crusoe , a copy of Romeo and Juliet and a copy of The Odyssey . Isolation, doomed love, and a life-changing journey. This is Joe Versus the Volcano … and this is life itself. Also, Note the repeated lines of dialogue. Not just Joe's line about having seen DeDe and Patricia before. Waturi's phone conversation, the oft repeated "I'm not arguing that with you." Angelica's "I have no response to that." Neither Waturi or DeDe are prepared to really converse, lest they have too much information, too much insight, too much instigation to change their lives. They don’t want to expand. Don't want to grow. Watusi says, "Nobody feels good. After childhood, it's a fact of life." But… The last recap post was day 1065 - socially acceptable insanity and I should do another. I’ll make it quick. I’ve got things...

Roger Ebert ends his review of Joe Versus the Volcano with a great bit: What's strongest about the movie is that it does possess a philosophy, an idea about life. The idea is the same contained in "Moonstruck": that at night, in those corners of our minds we deny by day, magical things can happen in the moon shadows. And if they can't, a) they should, and b) we should always in any event act as if they can. First a note: Roger references Moonstruck because John Patrick Shanley wrote both and directed Joe Versus the Volcano . Second, though, I love especially that last line. That we should always act as if magical things can happen is one of those ideas that so many movies put forth--from the eternal recurrence of Groundhog Day to the hyperrealism of American Psycho , from the time travel of About Time to the deliberate fantasy of Moulin Rouge . And, yes, Moonstruck . Joe Versus the Volcano takes place in a reality where miracles can happen, where desk lamps ...

Once upon a time there was a guy named Joe Who had a very lousy job... I worked office jobs in my 20s. The opening scene of Joe Versus the Volcano is amazing in its satire (and it's awesome that both Lloyd Bridges and Robert Stack (who played it relatively straight in Airplane! are in this), workers all dressed in black, trudged through a muddy parking lot, turnstile doors, a zig zag walkway, all to enter a factory that makes medical devices and leaks exhaust into the air. The lighting inside makes everyone look sickly, the hat rack doesn't even work right. It's no wonder that Joe Banks (Tom Hanks) feels like he's always sick. Effectively, he is . His job drains away his life. Or as he tells DeDe (Meg Ryan) (regarding his shoe), "I'm losing my sole."           Strictly speaking, Joe Versus the Volcano is not a bad movie. But, I'm going to end this month of bad movies with it because 1) it was one of the first movies recommended when I asked...

Any time spent with bad movies must include "Manos": The Hands of Fate . Why do they sing "Row Row Row Your Boat"? Hell, why, in Troll 2 , was that the "song I like so much" for the mother? What is this background music? It's almost poetic that the subtitles on Amazon Prime's copy of the movie are timed ahead of the bad voiceover. It's like they wanted to see if they could make the experience even worse.           Considering the technical difficulties--they couldn't record sound and could only film up to 32 seconds at a time--this film isn't that bad... Well, except for the atrocious dialogue and the bad acting.           The other couple that keeps making out and getting run off by the cops--is that going to connect to the "plot"? (It's been a while since I've watched this movie and I don't remember.)           I can't help but feel like there is some deep message to this movie. Like som...

In 7th grade--can't remember if it was fall semester or spring semester, but 7th grade was '87 to '88--I was rereading Joe Dever's Lone Wolf books. Particularly, I was reading The Caverns of Kalte (that's the second book) again during a lull in math class... I had probably already finished my math work--I was amazing at math, would get a couple years ahead by the end of high school. And the assistant teacher, whose name was Mr. Mentell or some spelling--we called him Mr. Mental--happened to look over my shoulder when I'm at an image of a big tentacled monster. This one, I think. He asks to see my book, and doesn't give it back after class. That night, we get a call. The next day, my mother is in the principal's office with me and the vice principal... And I can't remember if Mr. Mental was in the room. But, long story short--the religious private school that this atheist attended kindergarten through twelfth grade decided that those books (which,...

Doing something different; since Mystery Science Theater 3000 actually covered Hobgoblins once (episode 908), I'm watching that. It's actually amusing when the silhouettes aren't talking, like the movie writes its own jokes, because, well, it does.           I was hoping the MST3K jokes might make the slow parts less slow. It's not really working. Mr. McCreedy showing Kevin around is still boring. And Kevin's relationship with Amy is still really strained. I'm pretty sure she hates him and wants him to be a misogynist asshole. He's a horny 80s movie guy, though he is hesitant to admit it, and he really wants to be that misogynist asshole. If only the hobgoblins had gotten near both of them at the same time, they might have had a more interesting relationship... and sex . Seriously, they apparently live together, but she is more interested in Nick, more interested in Roadrash, And calls Kevin pathetic after the guy with military training beats him ...

Hobgoblins is a good example for exploring why a bad movie is bad... Well, there can be many reasons, but this is a big one. Like the more (in)famous Troll 2 , Hobgoblins ' biggest mistake is not knowing what it wants to be... Or rather, failing entirely at being what it seems to want to be by not going far enough. Troll 2 , for example, leans toward serious sexual moments with Creedence but backs off before it goes too far. Instead, perhaps because it was made by Italians directing a bunch of Mormons, it aims at being quaint, being kid-friendly. Hobgoblins makes that same mistake. Phone sex worker magically shows up in person, but is there any sex? Nope. Amy secretly desires to be a stripper, apparently, but strips down to about the same amount of cloth you'd see in a Jane Fonda Workout take from this same decade. Sure, her lyrics are leaning toward explicit. Like that line about showing everyone she's not wearing any underwear, but then the hobgoblins turn everything t...

I'm watching a movie I've never seen before. It's called Hobgoblins . I wanted some ridiculous awfulness tonight. Starts simple enough. Old security guy at a film studio showing the ropes to a younger guy. Younger guy opens a vault he shouldn't hears some strange gurgling then... falls to his death? Off a stage? Inside the vault? What was gurgling? Did they not have the puppets that day of filming?           This thing cost only $15000, reportedly, and it shows. And, it is not apparent from the film so far what the plot is, or is going to be; this guy Kevin got hired to replace the dead guy, but then we left the studio lot to meet some of Kevin's friends--his girlfriend Amy (who seems more into Nick than Kevin), Nick who's in the military, Nick's girlfriend Daphne, and the (coded) gay friend Kyle. Kyle called a (G-rated) phone sex line for some reason, and now Nick is "teaching" Kevin how fight, and the music is all dramatic and now the van...

It's the first half of Ishtar that is the problem. If you can just work your way through that, it gets better. The whole torture of that first hour, the awfulness of Rogers and Clarke's songs, their absolute lack of upward career trajectory--it even gets paid off when Clarke breaks down in the desert and asks, "What have I done with my life, Lyle?" And Ebert calls the desert sequence pointless. The desert sequence is the point. It's the answer to the question of the first half... Specifically, look at where the movie begins and ends. The same song in both places. Telling the truth can be dangerous business; Honest and popular don't go hand in hand. If you admit that you play the accordion, No one will hire you in a rock 'n' roll band. But we can sing our hearts out. And, if we're lucky, then no neighbors complain. Because life is the way we audition for God. Let us pray that we all get the job. It's trite. It's simplistic. But, it'...

The only time I saw Ishtar from beginning to end was on a plane. We were flying to England, I think [My sister tells me it was a trip to Hawaii.]. The movie felt longer than the flight. But, I have very little memory of the content from then. I've seen scattered moments from the film in the intervening years, but I have never sat down to watch the whole thing again. Supposedly, it's one of the worst films ever made; that's a superlative I should have sought out before now. Yet, here I am.           Twenty-two minutes before we get to the desert. I remembered none of that from seeing this before. And now, it feels like a different movie... And, I'm reminded of Spies Like Us , which also had a couple losers getting inadvertently involved in international affairs. Except, with better comedy, and, considering the timing ( Spies Likes Us came out in 1985, Ishtar in 1987), Spies Like Us made for a better twist on the tail end of the Cold War... Except I'm n...