the groundhog day project

The Room isn't even playing yet. I saw Girls Trip today--it was pretty good and very funny. But, right now, I've actually got the Critical Role panel from Comicon playing on Twitch. But, Pages is open and I'm typing because, you know, who cares what order things happen anyway? The point is not that things are organized but that things are tragic. You find a woman and you stay together for seven years, live together, and she'll betray you with your best friend. You find a man and you stay together for seven years, he will bore the shit out of you even though he's fundamentally a good guy, and you will cheat on him and he will kill himself. No matter what you do, someone will betray someone, someone will die, life will suck... except for when it doesn't. It's those moments when it doesn't suck that matter. When he brings you a new dress, or she has already ordered the pizza. As I write this I hear some lyrics from the Groundhog Day musical in my head-...

For me, the problem isn't singular. Not my problem with Sing Street , by the way. I'm not sure I've got any real problems with the movie. That's why I watched it a gain today, delaying jumping off points for things more unpleasant... Except, I can make anything unpleasant. Anxiety and depression will do that. The opening lines to "Waving through a Window" from Dear Evan Hansen occur to me, now: I've learned to slam on the brake Before I even turn the key Before I make the mistake Before I lead with the worst of me I get that. I get that a little too much. It's like that rehearsing conversations thing I was talking about the other day ; I can plan my interactions and my attempts to accomplish certain things ahead just enough that I can convince myself that success isn't an option. Don't have to fail if you don't have to try. Also, I figure I had my shot. That's a troubling thought. Like no one really deserves a second chance at...

This entry should actually be short, partly because it has been a long day and I've got an early day tomorrow, and partly because I'm only watching a short film tonight. Aria by Pjotr Sapegin, a painful, beautiful little film that is all of ten minutes long. Today, as I arrived at Meltdown Comics in Hollywood to play Dungeons and Dragons , as I do every Sunday lately, I had to drive a different route than usual because of the Pride (and #Resist and #Equality) Parade. Friends of mine were out there marching. On a different day, I might have been out there. I marched on Inauguration Day, I marched the day after in the Women's March. And, I feel like I should be out there more, should be supporting those who need support, reinforcing those who need reinforcement, and renouncing those who need renouncing. On more than the Internet, I mean. Then again, as Ben Platt just said when he won for lead actor in a musical for Dear Evan Hansen , "don't waste any time trying t...