the groundhog day project

I have only one thing further to say about Cutthroat Island . Except, it's not really about the movie itself; rather, it's about Roger Ebert's review . See, he doens't praise it, but he also doesn't seem to find it as boring and distasteful as I do. And, I am surprised by that. "'Cutthroat Island' does not disappoint," he writes. "It touches all [its] bases like clockwork..." Those bases, the tropes of any "decent pirate pictures" according to Roger: (1) an escape from a hostile port; (2) a battle at sea, preferably with broadsides fired and pirates boarding each other's ships; (3) one featured swordfight, (4) a storm at sea, with the survivors washed ashore, and (5) discovery of the treasure and a final confrontation. And, you know what I like about that list? At first blush, my personal favorite pirate movie-- The Pirate Movie --has but one of those, a featured swordfight. Now, at second blush, it's got a storm at...

I have a goal for today. I want to like Cutthroat Island . Despite all of its flaws, I mean. Despite it's simplistic, plot-driven structure. Despite it's excessive length. Despite its unmotivated characters. Despite its generic script. I have my work cut out for me. I suppose there's charm to these opening titles, all the overlaid old maps and maritime illustrations, like the movie really wants to be the definitive pirate movie... And then I'm reminded of The Pirate Movie , and I love that movie. That movie has charm, taking The Pirates of Penzance , already good in its own right, and updating it for the 1980s with a bit of parody to it, with just the right balance of cheese and earnestness. This movie could use a little less earnestness, a little more lightheartedness. Instead of this faux gravitas between Harry (Harris Yulin) and Dawg (Frank Langella). Or, instead of Renny Harlin and Geena Davis getting the studio to basically fund their honeymoon (they married jus...

[(Note: This was mostly written a few hours ago, but I forgot to take my keyboard with me today. I hand wrote some stray thoughts then a few rants bits... You'll see.) My first thought while watching Cutthroat Island was to wonder when it came out. I remembered (accurately, it turned out) it coming out in the mid-90s but it has Mario Kassar listed as producer. My first note: Mario Kassar? - the 80s guy? Sure enough, it' she 80s guy, which explains some of what's going on with this movie. By the way: That's page one. Black then red on this page. The others are more organized. I will try to just type them as is, keep it simple, and save me some time.] Nice confident opening credits. Cold open feels like the cold open of Romancing the Stone , except this is the film, not a setup. Nice sweeping shots--this movie is far too sure of itself. And that score... [later added in red: It gets a little repetitive as it goes on.] Barely begun and trying so damn hard to be glor...